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Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang. |
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At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors. |
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Two words: Chicken suit. |
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Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. |
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Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone. |
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Laugh a lot. A whole lot. |
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Stop at the green lights. |
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Go at the red ones. |
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Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance. |
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Eat food that requires silverware. |
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Pass cars, then drive very slowly. |
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Sing without having the radio on. |
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Honk frequently without motivation. |
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Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture. |
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Ask people for Grey Poupon. |
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Let pedestrians know who's boss. |
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Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look. |
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Restart your car at every stop light. |
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Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly. |
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Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window. |
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While stopped at a light, piss out the window/sunroof onto other cars. |
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Paint your car with occult symbols. |
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Keep at least five cats in the car. |
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Have some passengers in the back who are having wild, noisy sex. |
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Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for fire trucks. |
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Stop and collect road kill. |
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Stop and pray to road kill. |
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Throw Spam. |
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Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw Spam at them. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit. |